


Speechless

by clizziem



Series: Don't Smile at Me [5]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Child Abuse, Gen, Hospitalization, Hurt Zuko (Avatar), Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, Suicidal Thoughts, Victim Blaming, probably inaccurate medical stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:48:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28442679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clizziem/pseuds/clizziem
Summary: The painful heat comes in waves. For a couple of seconds, it’s bearable but then it grows and grows until Zuko wants to scream.Or he might actually be screaming.It’s hard to tell when Ozai’s booming voice is still shouting in the driver’s seat.The t-shirt Ozai stuffed into Zuko’s hand before they got in the car hurts his face but every time he moves it away, the air stings even more.Zuko spent one month at the hospital after the burn.
Relationships: Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Ozai & Zuko (Avatar)
Series: Don't Smile at Me [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2079291
Comments: 10
Kudos: 318





	Speechless

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so, I got a little carried away with this one.   
> TW for child abuse. It's not that graphic (I don't think) but ya know, be careful.  
> Tear bending alert, too. Maybe. I'm sensitive.  
> Also, I rated it mature because Ozai has a potty mouth.

The painful heat comes in waves. For a couple of seconds, it’s bearable but then it grows and grows until Zuko wants to scream.

Or he might actually be screaming.

It’s hard to tell when Ozai’s booming voice is still shouting in the driver’s seat.

The t-shirt Ozai stuffed into Zuko’s hand before they got in the car hurts his face but every time he moves it away, the air stings even more.

“Shut the fuck up!” Ozai snaps and his closed fist flies out from his side and lands on Zuko’s burned temple. The noise that comes out of him is unrecognizable and it just makes Ozai angrier. “If you didn’t want to get burned, you should have kept your mouth shut,” Ozai snarls.

“I-I said, I said I was sorry!” Zuko sobs and cowers away from his father’s glare.

“I didn’t raise you to be ‘sorry’,” Ozai mocks his tone. “I raised you to be a man! A strong man that knows his place! And you failed! Over and over you have failed me! If I hadn’t been present at your birth, I would assume you weren’t even my son,” Ozai says and throws the car to the right and Zuko’s too tired and hurt to keep the uninjured side of his head from hitting the window. He bites his tongue and tries to stay quiet, even though he wants to cry out. “Your younger sister knows how to behave herself, why can’t you?” Ozai adds. Zuko sniffs and doesn’t speak.

Ozai sighs and mutters something Zuko can’t hear.

That’s the other thing.

He can’t hear anything on the burned side now.

Ozai whips his head to send a look of pure rage. “Are you fucking deaf? I said, ‘What are you going to tell the emergency room?’”

Zuko flinches and takes a shaky breath. “Accident. Zula and I were fooling around with the stove and I got hurt.”

Ozai huffs. “At least you can remember that much.”

Even through his haze, Zuko thinks his father deserves some kind of award for how panicked he acts around the hospital staff. He comes through the doors crying for help, cradling Zuko to his chest. He stutters and runs his hand through his hair when the nurses and doctors ask him questions. He tries to follow Zuko into the OR and the nurses have to hold him back.

Zuko wants to scream.

He wants his mom.

He wants his sister.

He wants the stuffed koala his dead cousin gave him that Ozai tore out of his hands before dragging him to a lit stove.

A nurse goes to put a mask over his nose and mouth and he tries to fight her. He tries to tell her he needs help, but he’s already been drugged. What comes out is garbled and unintelligible and quite possibly Japanese. An anesthesiologist behind him strokes his hair and tells him he has nothing to be afraid of.

“You’re just going to go to sleep for a little bit. You’ll wake up before you know it.”

It’s the first time he wishes he won’t wake up. It’s not the last.

He does wake up before he knows it. After what feels like less than a second. His throat hurts and his head hurts and his father is sitting next to him like he’s waiting patiently for Zuko to say something.

“Do you want to explain why they asked me to tell them what happened after you had already gone into surgery?” Ozai says coldly. A tear rolls down Zuko’s cheek and Ozai sighs. “What did you tell them?”

“Nothing,” Zuko rasps. God, he’s thirsty.

“Then why won’t they get off my fucking back?” Ozai hisses and leans in closer. Zuko whimpers and cowers away from him.

“I didn’t say anything,” he mumbles.

“Speak up!”

“My throat hurts,” Zuko pleads.

Ozai stands up and puts one hand on each of the rails on either side of Zuko’s bed. Zuko yelps quietly and then coughs in protest. “What did you do in there?”

“Water-” Zuko wheezes. Ozai fumes. “I...got scare-scared of the...mask.”

“To put you to sleep?”

“Yes, sir,” Zuko says. Ozai sighs but steps away from the bed. Zuko exhales and collapses against the pillows.

“I suppose you’ve never had surgery before,” Ozai says and grabs a cup from a small cart off to the side and goes to the connected bathroom. Zuko hears running water and sits upright. “Not that there’s anything to be afraid of, stupid child.” He comes out of the bathroom and hands Zuko the cup of water.

“Thank you,” Zuko says and takes the cup.

“Pathetic,” Ozai scoffs and takes his seat again. “At least you haven’t completely lost your shit over the bandages.”

Zuko freezes and his hand goes up to his left eye only to find a cushion of bandages. He takes a deep breath and tries not to cry.

“Surgeon said they managed to save your eye but you won’t be able to hear on that side. And it will scar. So not only have you disrespected me, but you’ve disfigured and disabled yourself. All in twenty-four hours. I hope you’re fucking proud of yourself,” Ozai says.

“No, sir,” Zuko says. “Is...Is Azula here?”

Ozai meets his gaze and frowns. “Why would your sister be here?”

“To visit?” Zuko asks. Ozai leans forward again.

“You think you deserve any company? You should be grateful I’m stomaching being in the same room as you. You think I would bring my  _ daughter _ here?”

Zuko doesn’t say anything. His eye feels warm and wet and he tries to keep the tears at bay.

“For fuck’s sake,” Ozai mutters and Zuko’s tears fall.

“I miss her,” Zuko admits shyly.

“Should have thought of that before you landed yourself in the hospital,” Ozai snaps. He stands up and grabs his jacket. “Visiting hours end in a couple of minutes. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Yes, sir,” Zuko says through falling tears. Ozai doesn’t reply. He just leaves the room and slams the door. Zuko waits until he can’t hear his footsteps anymore before curling up in a ball with his back to the door. He takes one of the pillows from behind his head and hugs it to his chest. He buries his eye in the fabric and lets himself sob.

_ Snip _

_ Snip _

_ Snip _

Zuko stares ahead and bites the inside of his cheek until his father moves the tiny scissors he somehow made it into the hospital with away from Zuko’s hip. Some kind of gauze that was probably supposed to go on his eye or ear presses onto his hip to stop the blood and his hospital gown drops. Zuko’s beyond the point of crying about it. It’s been two weeks and it’s happened almost every other day.

“I thought I made it clear you weren’t supposed to say anything,” Ozai says.

“She asked me a question,” Zuko says under his breath.

“I don’t care about hearing your excuses! You disobey me again and you get three more, got it?”

“Yes, sir,” Zuko says and leans back against the pillows again. He stares up at the ceiling and starts counting the tiles again. He knows how many there are. Sixty-four. But Ozai won’t let him have any kind of entertainment.

Not that he knows about the children’s picture book Zuko stole from the day room down the hall.

“You look like a freak when you do that,” Ozai says. Zuko drops his gaze at thirteen.

“I’m sorry. I’m bored,” he admits. “And my eye hurts.”

“The doctor said it would, what are you complaining about?” Ozai says.

Zuko doesn’t mention that it hurts more right now than it did when it was burned. He doesn’t mention the pus that’s been leaking out of the bandages. He doesn’t mention how cold he is.

Or how exhausted.

Maybe he can close his eyes for a second without Dad minding.

_ “How long has it been like this?” A nurse demands. _

_ “He never said anything!” Ozai wails. _

The rest of what’s said is faint and tinny and Zuko can’t understand. He thinks he hears the word ‘sepsis’ but he can’t be sure.

All he can think about is how much it hurts. His eye feels like it’s pulsing with heat and spikes.

It’s the second time he wishes he won’t wake up when he shuts his eyes again.

“How many times are you going to have an infection without telling anyone?” Ozai growls as he paces the floor by the foot of his bed. He says something else. Zuko frowns at the bed but knows better than to ask his father to repeat himself. It was a little hard to explain how he managed to bruise his jaw. Not to mention the cuts Ozai added to his thigh. Ozai doesn’t shout at Zuko to reply so he assumes it was rhetorical.

“You told me not to speak,” Zuko says. “I was just trying to-”

Ozai moves lightning-fast and grips Zuko’s throat. Not tightly, but his blunt nails dig into his skin.

“You fucking piece of shit, you’re the only one who would have known you had an infection! Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

“No, sir,” Zuko wheezes. Ozai lets go and shakes his head.

“You better be well enough to go home today, I’m not going to pay a giant hospital bill.”

Zuko just twists his hands together.

The nurse comes in and smiles lightly with a clipboard against her chest. “Good news: you’re ready to head him! He still has a small fever so make sure he takes his antibiotics and ibuprofen,” she says to Ozai. Ozai sighs with fake relief and starts chatting with the nurse.

Zuko can’t decide if he’s happy or not.

At least he’ll get to see his sister again.

“Zu-Zu!” Azula squeals and launches herself at him. She nearly knocks him over and Zuko glances at Ozai but the man just rolls his eyes and heads towards his office. Zuko drops his hospital bag and wraps his arms around Azula. He buries his eyes in her shoulder and just lets himself be.

Safe for the first time in a month.

Zuko’s not stupid, he knows it won’t last, but he doesn’t care. He has his sister back.

Azula holds him at an arm's distance suddenly and he whimpers. “What happened? Why were you there for a month?”

His throat closes up and he shakes his head.

He doesn’t want to talk about what it was like to be alone in a room with Ozai for ten hours a day for four weeks.

He doesn’t want to talk about how Dad brought in a pocket knife with a small scissor head and would snip at his hip and thigh when he messed up.

He doesn’t want to talk about infections and fever dreams.

He doesn’t want to talk about the boredom and how he snuck into the day room at night to read books.

He shakes his head again and walks past Azula to go to his room.

He crawls under his sheets that now smell like his mom because of how long he’s been gone and lets himself cry.

His door opens quietly and there’s a soft click. Then some rustling and Azula stuffs his koala in his arms. 

Then she wraps her body around his over the covers.

She doesn’t speak and Zuko thinks he hears her sniffle.

“It’s okay, Zuko,” she whispers. “It’s over now,”

It’s not okay and it’s not over.

They both know that.

But right now it is enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I promise I won't end this series on that dark of a note, I have another part in mind.  
> And I'm sorry.


End file.
